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HOW TO REALLY LISTEN
Really good listeners are a
rare workplace (and everyplace) commodity. Because of its rarity, the
skill of excellent listening sends a powerful message. It says, “You
are important. Your ideas are valuable. You and what you think matter
to me.” Team members “hearing” such a message from their leader feel
empowered to do their jobs, are willing to be open and honest, and feel
free to offer ideas and suggestions.
You may ask, “What does it
take to be an excellent listener? Is it simply sitting quietly while
other people talk?”
Not really. As you know
from experience, it is possible to look someone in the eyes and sit
quietly while that person talks, while planning what you will say next
or mentally making your grocery list.
Effective listening is an
active process. It involves several key components.
ESSENTIALS OF EFFECTIVE
LISTENING
1. Decide to really
listen. Set aside preconceived ideas about a person, and make a choice
to really try to hear what the person is trying to communicate with you.
2. Listen for feelings as well
as facts. In order for a person to really feel understood, you have to
be successful in comprehending both the facts and the emotional content
of their message.
3. Make eye contact. Even
though you may be technically able to listen without looking at the
person who is speaking, he or she won’t feel that you’re listening.
Give the person your full attention, and demonstrate that by maintaining
good eye contact.
4. Use attentive body
language. Turn toward the person, with open and relaxed body posture.
If you are seated, you may learn forward toward the speaker. Let your
facial expression convey interest and concern.
5. Ask open-ended questions.
Rather than asking questions that require only yes-no or one-word
answers, pose questions that invite the person to elaborate. This gives
you more complete information and sends the “I’m interested” message to
the other person.
6. Paraphrase. Check to see
if you understood correctly by saying back in your own words what you
understood the person to say.
7. Reflect feelings. Show
that you are attempting to understand the emotions the person is
experiencing by verbally “mirroring” them. For example, you might say,
“It sounds like that really ticked you off,” or “Really was fun for you,
huh?”.
8. Use verbal and nonverbal
encouragers. You can encourage the person to continue to express
thoughts and ideas by little verbalizations like, “I see” or “Oh” or “Mmm.”
Head nods encourage the person nonverbally.
Listening is critical in
everyday one-on-one interactions as well as team meetings.
Organizational leaders as well as team members make a valuable
contribution to both performance and morale when they listen with their
ears, their eyes, and their hearts.
Contact us to obtain
permission to reprint this article in your publication. Please include
name of publication, organization and contact information.
Bev@MagneticWorkplaces.com
or 601-264-0890. |